It’s easy to just say: “Who cares what they think!” Yet, in reality, every career mom feels under the microscope after birth and everyone seems to have an opinion. We have to remember that is their perspective, coupled with probable trauma, and their own childhood, that has created those opinions. They are not facts. Going back to work after maternity leave, or for the self-employed mamas who were checking their computers just hours after birth, you are champions. Don’t let anyone else make you think or feel differently.
Career Moms teach child(ren) gender equality.
Who says Dad has to be the breadwinner? Who says Mom has to stay at home? Society. That’s it. You, and you alone know that you are making the best decisions for your children based on your knowledge of them and your family situation. Showing your kids that Mom is an awesome career woman who is independent and takes care of her family… is a huge life lesson. Times are different now than the societal “side eye” that people might give you for not “being at home with your children.” It still rings true that you have to put your mask on before offering help to others (as flight attendants always remind us!).
Your children are learning to interact with society.
It’s interesting that some societal stigma says to “stay at home,” yet that very concept keeps our children from interacting with society. Many parents love that special time home with their young children, but oftentimes, it is well-rounded to have them going to daycare or a friend’s home while you’re working so that they interact with adults (that are not you!).
Kids can get very familiar with parents and even develop bad habits from “working you” that would not be acceptable from a non-family caregiver. They also get a chance to be around other babies and children, and the concept that *gasp* the world does not revolve around them. This is a character-building trait.
So, Mama, you go on out there and do you. You’re a better person when you do, which means you’re a better mother too. If you ever feel a nagging feeling that you “should” be doing this or that. Try to tune in to yourself. Is it your mind telling you this, or your heart/gut. (Pssst…. listen to the latter!)
Career Moms can have balance.
If you’re a go-getting working Mama (props by the way!!), you are likely able to organize, prioritize, and shuffle all your tasks into their places. Yes, it’s a lot, but that’s why you’re a career mom in the first place, you go out there… and you get it!!
And, what’s lovely about going to work is that you get a break. You get a moment to be an adult again. You can breathe. Maybe you can even squeeze in a tiny self-care moment on the way home. Ideas: 15 minute chair massage at Whole Foods. Or, community acupuncture where you leave when you want. And, maybe a short walk around the lake by the office. Whatever it is, find that balance, because you’re juggling a lot, and judgment from others should never be one of them.
About Becca Hart, LPC and Soul Song Counseling
Soul Song Counseling is a Denver-area private practice counseling soon-to-be and new mothers (as well as mothers of older children) to find that heart space that is your true calling. Becca Hart, LPC, is passionate about helping moms through postpartum depression and anxiety and has received extensive training in each subject. She is also trained in Brainspotting, a soothing psychological and meditative tool to ease past trauma and current stress.
If your life has been hectic and you feel like you might be losing yourself, please consider a complimentary consultation to see if counseling could help during this challenging time. You are powerful and amazing, counseling can help you with the support you need to feel that way again. You got this, Mama.