Congratulations! You’ve just welcomed not one, but two (or more!) precious gifts into this world! Mothering and caring for one child at a time is a task in itself, so mothering two at the same time can seem near impossible.
If you are a new mother to twins or multiples, Soul Song Counseling wants to share some of our tips and tricks to help care for your babies while maintaining your mental health and peace of mind.
Syncing Sleep Schedules
Possibly one of the hardest, yet most crucial tasks to conquer while mothering twins is syncing their sleeping and feeding schedules. Otherwise, you will constantly be running around the clock switching off from one baby to the other. To sync your babies feeding and napping schedules, as soon as one of your children wake, we recommend waking the other one. While it is normal rule of thumb to not disrupt your sleeping baby, it is essential to get your babies’ schedules in sync from the get go.
And for you, Mama, take advantage of those naps! It can seem like once they are both down that you should try to hit the dishes or some other chores, but try your best to just get some rest when you can. Hire help for cleaning or say yes when a friend or family member offers. Hired help is often less expensive than you think. Laundry services, for example often cost just $10 for ten pounds and Task Rabbit is a service that offers random help for $15 – $30/hour.
Don’t Separate Your Twins Sleeping
It is common for new mothers to separate their twins in the night so they don’t wake each other. However, we recommend keeping your babies in the same room, that way they learn how to cope with crying and silence and adapt to sleeping through anything! (Going along with this “advice” though too… seriously do whatever works for you, these are just ideas!).
Ask For Help
Perhaps one of the most important lessons in motherhood… you are not alone! When it comes to raising not one, but two babies, there will be times when you need more hands! This could look like reaching out to family and friends as well as connecting with other twin mothers and mothers of multiples in your community. Whatever option works best for you, we guarantee asking for some outside help will lighten the load! #worthit
Plan Individual Time
While most of your twin’s childhood will be spent in unison from sleeping to napping, it is important to spend unique time with your twins on their own. This will help them not only create an identity unique to them, but allow them to be recognized as individuals and not just one piece of a set. Twins have a tendency to become dependent on each other after their early years in childhood, so spending separate time with each of your children will allow them to develop their own identities and experiences.
Along with separate time, it is important that each twin also has their own possessions. While it may be easier to buy two of everything, it is important that each of your children feel as if they have their own possessions, special to them, to reinforce separateness and ownership.
Last but certainly not least, enjoy the experience! You just welcomed not one but two new lives into this world! While parenting is no easy task, the more the merrier. When it comes to parenting twins it is important to remember that this duo will be a great pair but also require their own space. Don’t forget, ask for help! And, if it’s all a bit overwhelming… please contact Soul Song Counseling for support. Click here to start.
About Soul Song Counseling | Becca Hart, LPC
Becca Hart, LPC is a Denver counselor for postpartum moms struggling with depression and anxiety. Let’s be honest, life is hard! And, there’s added pressure when you’re a mom. Counseling helps. Give yourself the gift of mental health and carve out some time for you. We’re here to listen.